Mind Matters: How we are like water, and water like us

I love water. I love most everything about water. Water is refreshing, adaptable and it can be destructive. When I am thirsty, it is water that sustains me. There have been times when I have avoided, disregarded and even taken for granted this wonderful gift. Recently, when I was in the water at the beach, I remembered how similar I am to water. I am strong, I am welcoming, I am vulnerable and I always find a way.

Some facts about water... Blood is 92 percent water. The brain and muscles are 75 percent water. The earth is also 75 percent water. Water is essential for our existence. Without water, we would die. (Well, there is Yogi Prahlad Jani, who has not had anything to eat or drink for over 80 years. In August, he will be 87. But this fact is totally for a different story.) Now, back to water!

I remember the day I discovered how water made me feel at home. It was when I drove down City Point Road in Cocoa. When I got to the end of that road, there it was, the Indian River, welcoming me with open arms. I had never experienced that feeling before. We later purchased a home on Indian River Drive and our family spent eight wonderful years filled with ups and turns.

But what is it about water that calls me, that reminds me of who I am? Perhaps it is the reminder that I cannot live without it. Water takes any shape and it can go from boiling to ice. Maybe, it is the strength and power of water. It is vulnerable and can easily become contaminated. Too much or not enough water can create disasters. No matter what, water will find a way out, even in the tiniest of cracks. Water is what it is and it makes no apologies.

How does water remind me of me? My entire life has been all about adapting to new environments and flowing with my family. My father was in the military and we moved around a lot. So much so that I do not remember my childhood friends. I truly believe we have some gypsy blood in us because long after my father retired, which was when I was 7, we continued to move from house to house, city to city.

Because of all this moving, I attended four different high schools. We even moved in the middle of my senior year. And NO, we were not part of the witness relocation program or running from the law. My father was a wonderful provider and a self-made man.

Mind Matters: Love always makes a difference

I had to learn at an early age that “new” was good; new house, new school and new friends. None of these would last long and everything was replaceable. Like water, we kept flowing.

Family was all that mattered. We fought like typical siblings but when we were out of the house, we were each other’s best friend. Our family vacations were always by the water. Many of my fondest memories are from when I was at the beach. We laughed, ate and played together. Outside of my family, I didn’t feel as though I fit in. Perhaps I didn’t fit in with my family either. I was shy, skinny and awkward. Humor was my currency.

After I left my parent’s home, my legs were like tree trunks and I started to establish roots. It became my mission to provide constancy for my children. I wanted them to have the stability I had craved. They went to the same schools with the same friends. But our vacations were surrounded by water. I loved going into the water with them. As they grew and left our home, sitting by the shore became comfortable for me.

Busyness, success, disappointments, unmet expectations and not wanting to get wet became my reasons for not going in the water. I ignored my longing to run as fast as I could until I would trip into the water like I did as a child. “The last one in is the rotten egg!” Who wants to be a rotten egg? Not being a rotten egg was a very important priority when I was a kid.

Water can be destructive. In a flash, everything we own can be gone. I am truly sorry if you have experienced this kind of devastation. There are certainly times in our lives when things will get tough and be painful. We can be caught off guard and become overwhelmed. I have learned to trust the process and allow life to flow without trying to control it. The more I try to control the flow, the more frustrated I become. When I allow myself to flow with the current and surrender, I learn my greatest lessons and experience humanity at its best.

My husband Robert and I just went on vacation and, you guessed it, we went to the beach. As I sat under my umbrella this urge to go into the water overpowered me. I asked Robert if he would go into the water with me and, at first, he didn’t seem interested. I persisted and he agreed. (He is perfect that way.) As I got closer to the water’s edge, my body wanted to turn around but my spirit screamed: “jump, jump!” Little by little, I allowed my body to surrender to the coldness of the water. I realized this was the first time I had been in the water in a very long time. Memories flooded my heart and I instantly felt reconnected with my spirit. “Just add water,” which is what the instant oatmeal package suggests.

McDermott: A twist on The Golden Rule

I had forgotten my passion for water. But then again, perhaps I had forgotten how to take care of me. Yes, it happens to all of us and we need to be aware how quickly we can ignore our self and our needs. We take ourselves for granted... Just like water.

Ahhh... That water embraced me like a mother greeting her prodigal daughter. I felt like a fetus in her mother’s womb. Each day, going into the water became a race between Robert and me. While in the water I remembered, I am just like water.

Even when I have no idea how I will do something, a small crack will provide hope. I need to take care of myself and my spirit. Separation of the two will contaminate my spirit and that will pollute who I am. Just like water.

The fact is that water needs to flow. If it is stagnant, it will become a breeding ground for bacteria, algae and mosquitos. If it keeps flowing, it stays fresh and is available for people, animals and our planet. Like water, I need to keep flowing. If I stop flowing (or stop growing), I will become stagnant and my body may become toxic and unhealthy. I choose to flow like water.

What about you? How are you like water? Are you flowing or feel stagnant? Live like water lives... Remember, be flexible, be grateful and run as fast as you can or you will be the rotten egg!

Listen to The Lillian McDermott Radio Show ~ Weekdays at Noon on AM 1060 WMEL or at www.WhenYouNeedaFriend.com. Subscribe to my Podcast at iTunes or Google Play Music. Please email feedback to Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com.